Thursday, December 29, 2011

Parental Abbreviations

Parenting websites, like text messaging, rely on a shorthand system of abbreviations: DS/DD/DH (dear son, dear daughter, dear husband), TTC (trying to conceive), CIO (cry-it-out) as well as the more usual OMG, LOL, BRB and the like.

However, I find that many of the sentiments I am trying to express these days aren't covered by the usual technological lexicons. Here are a few of my own additions.

POTL - poop on the loose
SR - snot rag
MDE - mommy daddy Elmo
BBD/BBM - byebye daddy/byebye mommy
WCISD - when can I start drinking
YIWLAM - yes I would like another Mimosa
RAR - ringworm again? really?
AEI - another ear infection
DF - diaper fail
SCF - sippy cup fail
BF - babysitter fail
SB - stop biting
SHHOW - stop hitting head on wall
SLF - stop licking floor
SO - shoes on
SOP - shoes on, please
SOTGMOIWLMFM - shoes on this goddamn minute or I will lose my freaking mind
GTB - go to bed
DP - dance party!
HTO - hands to ourselves
BOTL - binky on the loose
BOAR - binky on a rope
WTB - where's the binky
JLMKITHWMKACNWDID - just locked my kids in the house with my keys and cellphone: now what do I do
JTPOMDDNOTCITW - just took photos of my daughter dancing naked on the couch, is that weird
WH - wash hands
SWH - stop washing hands
MDIOWWHHSIBW - my daughter is obsessed with washing her hands should I be worried
OOTH - out of the house
GMTHOOTH - get me the hell out of the house
DNTMC - do not touch my computer
IINTTGUY - it is not time to get up yet
GBTS/GBTB - go back to sleep/go back to bed
DYT - did you toot
DYP - did you poop
SS - stop screaming
SSS - slide! slide! slide!
ETYAITCYHTSITC - every time you are in the car you have to sit in the car seat
SD - sit down
SC - stop crying
TYFTH - thank you for the hug
NOMCFA - none of my clothes fit anymore
LMM - losing my mind
GWTV - go watch TV
ILAVDCMAAESWHP - I'd like a Venti decaf caramel macchiato and an egg sandwich with ham please
DPM - don't push me
IANARPBYAOMLN - I am normally a reasonable person but you are on my last nerve
LMMOWIALT - losing my mind...oh wait, I already listed that
GM - goodnight moon
UYW - use your words
WTAYCH - what time are you coming home
DNPYN - do not pick your nose
DNET - do not eat that
NNNNN - no, no, no, no, no!
AOAN - and once again no!
NL - not listening

Sample messages:

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