Saturday, March 31, 2012

Old and Tired and Mean

To the tune of "Young and Wild and Free" by Wiz Khalifa, Snoop Dog and featuring Bruno Mars


So what you threw up
It’s all over me
Got no change of clothes
We don't care who sees
So what you just pooped
That's how it’s supposed to be
Living old and tired and mean

Uh, Uh huh
So what I keep my dipe’ all taped up
Saggin' my pants, droopy drawers hangin’ low
Keep it real at the daycare
Like the wheels on the bus, you know how I roll and I roll
Washed my hair, got soap in my eyes,
no more tears, mom fixed me up with Chicken nuggies,
Mac and cheese, yo Gabba Gabba,
Got me some fine pull-up Huggies.
I tha’ class clown and I play ring around the rosie
Hold hands, cross the street,
With anyone dat knows me

Yeah, uh you know what?
Looks like another ear infection
Got the good stuff, pink magic
Nothing tragic, not gonna be illin’
Now I’m rockin’ out on amoxicillin
Washin’ down my Disney gummies
Man that’s a hella taste
Hittin hard on pirates booty, get used to me
Sucking down Capri Sun
Don’t pretend that I’m the only one
I gots Big League Chew, glitter glue,
Finger paints drippin’ away
Time keep slippin' away,
Paper plates, pipe cleaners, bend ‘em every which way
Trippin’ in Crocs, busting up the Pop Rocks,
Unwrappin’ Dum Dums, what can I say
I’m a sucker for fun.

So what you threw up
It’s all over me
Got no change of clothes
We don't care who sees
So what you just pooped
That's how it’s supposed to be
Living old and tired and mean

Uh, and now I don't even care
Can’t find clean underwear
But it’s all good
As long as Elmo and Cookie are still on the air

Blowin' bubbles everywhere we goin'
And now ya knowin'
When I run probably gonna trip out
Tear my pants, need a Band-Aid, gonna flip out.

Tell you how nap time should be done
Soon as they’re thinkin' you're down
You just pop up and turn things around
You show Ferber what up, that CIO clown.

Got stomach flu, got ringworm, got croup
Rubbing on the Lotrimin
Got syringes full of ibuprofen
Chugging on the Pedialyte
I wet the bed sometimes
Keeps the parents up all night

Now I'm chillin
Fresh outta my crib
in my toddler bed
feelin' like an explorer,
feelin’ like Diego or Dora
Fresh outta preschool,
Got more honey than Pooh
Got more noodles than soup
Got my own cozy coupe
Movin’ up from the Bumbo, all the ladies say Uh-oh
Eatin’ beans makes me toot!

HiB, IPV
HepA And HepB
Prevnar
TDap, MMR
Got all my vaccines
Got stickers and shots
And we not gonna’ cry
No fever, no hives
Bribin’ mom afterwards for a burger and fries.

So what you threw up
It’s all over me
Got no change of clothes
We don't care who sees
So what you just pooped
That's how it’s supposed to be
Living old and tired and mean

Yea, eat one, choke on one
Goldfish, Cheerios, snack time you're supposed to party
Eat one, choke on one, and we all just having fun
So we just, eat one, choke on one
Goldfish, Cheerios, snack time you're supposed to party
Eat one, choke on one, and we all just having fun

So what you threw up
It’s all over me
Got no change of clothes
We don't care who sees
So what you just pooped
That's how it’s supposed to be
Living old and tired and mean


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